After spring quarter I took a light load in the summer with a math class, abnormal psychology (which I loved) and practicum.
The practicum was a two week camp for kids with disabilities. I moved up a level in practicum and now have a new instructor. She specializes in children with autism and although she is pretty tough and strict about paperwork I appreciate her insights and her work. This practicum challenged me to do a lot of my own song-writing. I have always stayed away from writing my own music for fear that I will create something others (and mostly myself) won't find "good". I had to let that go though, since several of the assignments were to write various children's songs all with different aims. The practicum itself was wonderful and challenging. It feels like it was so long ago and difficult for me to even remember the ups and downs, but overall a great experience. It was so valuable to be put in a situation so similar and so different than what I'm used to. I feel very comfortable with kids but having a whole room of children with disabilities was entirely different and new.
So that was basically summer quarter and now I'm half way through my fall term. I was wrong in thinking that last spring quarter would be the most challenging. So far this quarter is killing me. It's a mix of the level of paperwork I now have to do for practicum, (writing my own assessment template, filling out that assessment, making session plans, reflecting on session plans, facility assessments...it's a lot) and the amount of reading and assignments I have in my other classes. I have managed to completely just space out a couple times already and showed up to class completely without the assignment due. Such a terrible feeling. Another thing that makes this quarter hard is that I had such a great summer and was able to see Jeris a lot. It feels amazing to have a year down, but starting year two has been....just hard.
It's getting better though. I am feeling more comfortable with the clients I have now in my new practicum. This quarter I am at a day center for adults with varying developmental and intellectual disabilities. Pretty similar to my last practicum (which I LOVED.) This practicum involves three back to back half-hour sessions with each group consisting of about 10-13 people. After 3 weeks of assisting and leading an occasional song my supervisor decided that I will completely take on the second group, and lead the entire session from the 4th week on. I was excited for this but my first session leading everything was a little messy.
First of all, my first time leading an entire session was also my assessment day, the day I use to assess all 13 clients in several domains: cognitive, physical, emotional, social, communication, musical, etc. On top of that I had a highschooler observing me. So I start out assisting with the first group (which is facilitated by an intern who is blind.) He asks me for help with certain things and on this particular day he asked me to turn off the cd player after doing some halloween themed intervention that involved listening to "This is Halloween" from Nightmare Before Christmas. One of the clients LOVED this song and was dancing around. When I turned it off he got really upset with me. I tried to not take it personally but he would just glare at me during my group and at one point interrupted the session after I asked a general question to the group. He stands up and says "I'll tell YOU something....are you ready for this?" and he glares at me and starts kicking a chair. There were a couple other hiccups during my session but the topper was when I got into my car, feeling relieved to be done and saw that my fly was undone. Amazing.
My sessions have been getting better since then. I'm feeling more comfortable and am getting to know the clients more and more as individuals. One client last week asked me if I loved him. I sort of panicked and said yes in an awkward, under my breath sort of way and quickly moved on to the next thing. I don't know what I should've said but I guess there was a little truth in that. I love going to the the adult care center and having the chance to lead and learn and make mistakes and to understand what it's like to be an adult with a debilitating disability. Well, I don't really understand that but I have a much better idea.
This particular group is fairly high functioning so it's been difficult to figure out what my goals are. (No one tells me what they are, I just have to figure it out....)
So far my goals are to increase group cohesion and community as well as increasing self-esteem. Music is a good way to work toward these goals. Last week I used tone bars and had the clients take turns being "in charge" and conducting the rest of the group. I was amazed how some of the clients were able to communicate with their peers through this activity when usually it's very difficult to get them to interact with each other verbally, or with eye-contact even. Some of the clients were even helping each other. There's so much to say about how beneficial music is for them. Too much to say right now, but stay tuned.
